


You're Not a Constant Star

by charity_hope



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 20:56:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18396200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charity_hope/pseuds/charity_hope
Summary: Louis started to open his mouth, the words just hanging on his lips, threatening to fall out. But nothing came out. He closed his mouth again and stared at Zayn. Zayn's expression was unreadable and it scared Louis. Despite what people said about Zayn being the mysterious one, Louis always prided himself as the one being able to read the man in front of him. But not this time.





	You're Not a Constant Star

"Zayn..." Louis sighed, tilting his head to the side to give Zayn more access to press kisses onto his neck. His fingers skimmed lightly along the younger man's spine, feeling every knob and committing it onto memory. Zayn moved above Louis, his hips gyrating in tiny circles. His body shook, his arms trembling from where he had them pressed on either side of Louis' head to brace himself.

 

"Always so good. So tight," Zayn whispered, taking Louis' earlobe between his lips and nibbled on it lightly. Louis bucked up, meeting Zayn's thrusts. Zayn increased his pace, the sound of skin slapping skin filled the room. Louis moaned, arching his back when Zayn's cock jabbed particularly hard and perfect against his prostate. "You close?"

 

"Yes. Please. Fuck, Zayn," Louis whined, pulling Zayn closer, their chests meet and slide with sweat. Zayn held himself up with one hand and brought the other hand between their bodies to grip on Louis' cock. Zayn let out a breathless laugh when Louis licked his lips and closed his eyes, chest heaving with laboured breaths. Zayn can tell that the older man was close. His toes curling and his nails digging into the skin on Zayn's back. A couple of strokes later, Louis let out an aborted moan as he came, covering their stomachs with his load.

 

Zayn's movement stuttered for a bit as Louis clenched around him, his body convulsing as he rode out his orgasm. Louis whined, lifting his hips to urge Zayn on, wanting the younger man to come as well. Zayn cursed under his breath, picking up his pace again, and pounding into Louis' sated, pliant body. Louis muttered encouraging words, pushing him along.

 

"Fuck, fuck fuck," Zayn chanted as he shot into the condom, his body drawn tight. It took a moment until both of them regained their composure. Zayn pulled out and slid the soggy condom off his cock, throwing it somewhere on the floor. Louis lied on the bed, his chest still moving rapidly but he was slowly regaining his breath.

 

He turned his head and smirked when Zayn flopped down next to him. He patted Zayn's cheek lightly as he got up and started to get dressed. "Thanks, mate," Louis said, pulling on his pants and zipped it up. Zayn returned the smile even though it felt tight. Louis looked at the cum on his stomach and shrugged before wiping it with one of the T-shirts laying on the floor. Zayn noticed it as his.

 

Louis discarded the T-shirt on the floor and pulled another one over his head. "Later," the older man said, blowing a kiss and turned around. Zayn wanted to call him back, asking him to stay or when they could meet up again but something stopped him from doing so. He watched as the petite man limped out of the room, feeling a slight satisfaction knowing he was the cause of that.

 

As Louis closed the door behind him, Zayn turned to bury his face against the pillow and inhaled the scent of Louis that still lingered.

 

His heart ached as a sense of emptiness began to spread from the bottom of his heart and consumed his whole being.

 

\---

 

"You're drunk, mate," Niall said, his forehead creased in worry as he watched Louis chugging at his fourth pint of beer. Niall slapped Louis' hand when the brunette reached for another pint, earning a scowl which he had learned to ignore after five years of friendship.

 

The club was bustling with energy, strobe lights blinding and the loud bass from the music made hearts pounded. There were people all over the dance floor, moving their bodies with the music, hips swaying, heads shaking, hands thrown into the air. The air was thick with sweat and smoke and alcohol. Louis felt his head spinning but stilk he didn't want to stop drinking.

 

Not too far from the booth he was sitting with Niall, Louis could see Zayn at the bar with a pretty brunette boy. He had a cheeky face with a dimpled smile. Louis gripped the empty pint in his hand tight when Zayn snaked an arm around the boy's waist and aligned their hips together, Zayn's leg slotted between the boy's.

 

"I'm getting shitfaced drunk tonight!" Louis declared, tearing his eyes away from the sight that made something hot akin to fury to reside inside him. Louis snatched the pint from Niall and quickly drank it in one go. His head had started to get fuzzy, his sight blurry and he revelled in it.

 

"Hey, mates." That velvety voice made something stirred in the pit of Louis' stomach. He adamantly refused to lift up his head to see that face, no he wouldn't. He stared at his half empty beer, feeling Zayn's presence next to him and wanted to pull the other man to him. He clenched his fists, fighting the urge. He felt Zayn slid onto the seat next to him. He wanted to move away, the mere thought of Zayn being so close made him want, want [i]more[/i].

 

But he couldn't so he resorted to lifting the pint up to his lips and finished the drink. Zayn casually draped his arm around Louis' shoulders and the brunette immediately tensed. Zayn's scent wafted into Louis' nostrils, a hint of cigarette smoke, alcohol and spice-scented cologne made Louis felt heady. Subconsciously, he leaned closer. He just couldn't help it.

 

It was Zayn and he was always weak for the Bradford man. Finally, he couldn't fight the need to look at that beautiful face anymore. He looked up, his throat constricting, his breath hitching. Zayn smiled and it was so devastatingly beautiful Louis felt like he could die.

 

"Come back with me tonight?" Zayn asked, his arm subtly slid downward and rested his hand on Louis' hips. Zayn's eyes were unfocused and it was no brainer to deduce that Zayn was as drunk as Louis was.

 

Louis wanted to ask about that boy Zayn was grinding against but didn't. It would show that he cared and that was against the rule of whatever game they were playing. Instead, Louis made his lips curl up into a smirk, meeting Zayn's eyes and see lust pooling in them.

 

"Sure," he replied, resting his hand on top of Zayn's thigh and squeezed slightly and enjoyed the gasp it resulted.

 

\---

 

If someone had told Zayn five years ago that he would lose half his mind for a man, he would've laughed at the person. But now, if someone had told him that, he would kiss that person and thank them profusely for the heads up. He would've known to avoid the man and spare himself from this heartache.

 

Once again Zayn only watched as Louis got dressed, ready to leave just moments after they had sex. He should've been used to it by now. But it still hurt so bad every single time. He sat at the edge of the bed, admiring the curve of Louis' arse as he bent down to pull the jeans up. He wanted to reach out and pull the smaller man back into bed with him.

 

"You can't stay?" Zayn asked, his voice timid. This was the first time he ever asked that, making Louis ceased his movements, watching Zayn with a curious look mixed with something that Zayn couldn't comprehend. But it only lasted for a moment before it flicked into something else and Zayn's stomach dropped, already regretting the words coming out of his mouth.

 

"Zayn..." Louis started, looking unsure and Zayn hated himself. He shouldn't make this weird. They promised that they wouldn't make this weird. Zayn raked his brain, trying to find a way to reverse this situation, turn it around and not freak Louis out.

 

"For round two, I mean," Zayn said, the corner of his lips turned up into his signature flirtatious smirk. He knew Louis was always weak for that so he wasn't ashamed to use it to his advantage. "It won't take long to get this up and ready to go again." He gestured towards his still naked crotch, his cock never fully flaccid, not when Louis was around.

 

Louis raised his eyebrows and Zayn mirrored the look, silently challenging the older man. Slowly, the unsure look on Louis' face was replaced with something Zayn was more familiar with, lust and want.

 

And Zayn would gladly take it.

 

Louis dropped the shirt he was about to put on and tackled Zayn so he lay on the bed with a huff, both of them laughing playfully. Louis sat on Zayn's thighs, his eyes glinting with mischief.

 

Zayn didn't waste any time now. Usually he would tease Louis until he turned into a writhing, incoherent mess and fucked him right into the mattress so Louis would remember him for days. But now Zayn was desperate. He just wanted to feel skin and taste Louis, keeping it in his memory and locking it tight so he had something to remember when everything fell into pieces.

 

"I want you to fuck me," Zayn whispered, reaching out to grip onto Louis' love handles. Louis didn't say anything as he slid off from Zayn to slip out of his pants. Then he crawled on top of Zayn again.

 

"How do you want me?" he asked, his voice had gone an octave lower. Zayn felt his prick twitching in interest at the look in Louis' eyes. It made Zayn felt wanted, desireable and it made him feel happy despite everything.

 

At least he had this.

 

"Wanna suck you off first. Then you can fuck me from behind." Louis cursed after hearing Zayn's words, wasting no time to dislodge himself from the younger man and stood at the end of the bed. Zayn sat up, Louis' crotch right in front of his face.

 

He looked up through his lashes, bringing his hand up to take hold of Louis' half-hard cock. Louis hissed when Zayn leaned down to place a kiss on the head before wrapping his lips around it. Zayn went straight for it, applying just enough pressure on his suction to get Louis hard. He swirled his tongue around the tip, collecting the pre-cum and moaning at the taste that was distinctively Louis. He could feel Louis getting harder in his hand. What he couldn't fit into his mouth, he jerked in time with the bobbing of his head.

 

Louis' hand moved to card his fingers through Zayn's hair. It was soft and fluffy without any products and Louis pulled slightly, knowing how much Zayn loved it. He was awarded by a muffled moan Zayn let out, the vibration from Zayn's throat sent such wonderful sensation to Louis' cock, making his toes curl.

 

Zayn opened his mouth wider, pushing down until Louis' cock hit the back of his throat. He could feel the muscles contracted but he pushed through. He felt his throat gave and from then on, he let Louis fucked his face. Using his leverage from gripping at Zayn's hair, Louis started thrusting his hips, fucking into Zayn's throat mercilessly.

 

Zayn's hands were gripping tightly at Louis' things, his knuckles going white as his throat working to accomodate Louis' punishing thrusts. His lips and chin were dripping wet with saliva and tears started to roll down from the corner of his eyes. But he loved it. The rawness of this act made him feel alive and alight his whole skin on fire.

 

He whined when Louis started to pull off, refusing to let go and tried to get Louis' cock back into his mouth. Louis laughed, breathless and slightly hysterical. "I'm so close, love. Might come before I get inside of you," he explained, wiping the wetness on Zayn's face and gripped at the base of his cock to stave off his own orgasm.

 

Louis looked down and smirked. "You're so hard already," he commented, taking Zayn's cock into his hand and stroke, making Zayn to buck his hips, moaning at the feeling of Louis' warm hand around him. He didn't even realise he had gotten fully hard just from sucking Louis oft but it wasn't surprising. Louis had that effect on him.

 

He put his hand at the back of Louis' neck, bringing the older man's face closer, resting their foreheads together. It was so easy to just lean a bit forward and close the gap, meeting his lips with Louis'. But that wasn't what they did. They didn't kiss. It was too intimate, too much like they were in love, which Zayn knew wasn't the case, at least on Louis' side.

 

Zayn scooted back, bringing Louis with him as he lay on the bed. "Fuck me," he whispered, his voice wrecked from earlier. He loved the slight ache he felt on his throat, a reminder of Louis.

 

Louis smiled, pressing a chaste kiss on Zayn's forehead which was abnormal. It was oddly gentle, unlike everything they had done so far and Zayn felt like crying so he quickly turned onto his stomach, not wanting Louis to see. He heard Louis' breath hitched behind him and let out a sigh when Louis' hands cupped at his arse.

 

"You're so fit," Louis mused. Zayn gasped, eyes closing when he felt Louis placing a soft kiss at his tailbone and massaged at his cheeks at the same time, squeezing and kneading at the flesh. Louis spread Zayn's arse cheeks apart and Zayn buried his face against the pillow, feeling overwhelmed at the first kitten lick of Louis' tongue touched his hole.

 

"Shit!" he hissed, grinding his hips down onto the bed to get a much needed friction to his cock. Louis teased at Zayn's rim with barely there licks, turning the younger man into a hot, quivering mess. Zayn grabbed a fistful of the sheet underneath him, twisting and panted hotly as Louis had started to put more pressure from his tongue into Zayn's rim. "Please, please, Lou. Fuck me," Zayn begged, his mind losing already.

 

Louis bit at Zayn's left cheek, leaving a mark that Zayn was sure he would feel for days. He then got up, making Zayn whine at the loss of Louis' body heat.

 

"Shh... I've got you," Louis whispered, putting a comforting hand on the small of Zayn's back, to assure the man that he wasn't going anywhere. Zayn sighed when he heard the snick of the lube being opened. When Louis pressed two fingers against his rim, he shook his head. "No?" Louis asked.

 

"No. Just want your cock," Zayn replied, his words slurred.

 

"I don't want to hurt you." Once again Zayn shook his head.

 

"Don't care. Wanna feel you."

 

"Fuck, Zayn." Louis sounded overwhelmed and Zayn loved that. He bit his lower lip when he felt the blunt head of Louis' cock at his entrance. "Take a deep breath and relax," Louis instructed in a strained voice. He then proceeded to slowly pushed inside, his cock slick with lube. However, the lack of preparation made the slide dragged and Zayn's inside to burn.

 

Zayn bit his lip harder, drawing blood as he felt like his lower half was torn into two. A single tear rolled down his cheek and it was like a dam had been broken as he started to cry.

 

This time, it was not from pain.

 

"Louis..." Zayn keened, his eyes squeezed tight when Louis bottomed out. Louis was breathing hard above him, running his hands all over Zayn's back soothingly. "Louis..." he started again but stopped himself from continuing the 'I love you' that was about to follow.

 

"Shit, Zayn. I didn't. I didn't use a condom," Louis said, tensing above the younger man. Zayn knew he should stop this right now if he was smart. He knew it was a risk. He and Louis weren't exclusive. Even though Zayn had never slept with anyone ever since this thing with Louis started, he wasn't confident that Louis was the same.

 

"Just... go on," he said instead, lifting his hips up to urge Louis on. Louis swore again, gripping at Zayn's hips and started to pull out before slamming back in. "Yes..." Zayn hissed, letting himself enjoying the feeling of being close to Louis as physically possible.

 

\---

 

"This is toxic," Harry said one night.

 

Louis had his head laid on Harry's lap, his eyes and cheeks moist with fresh tears. Harry ran his fingers through Louis' hair soothingly, shaking his head at the situation his friends had put themselves through. The older man sniffed, wiping his cheeks with the sleeve of Harry's jumper that he borrowed. His smelled so much like Zayn and it hurt.

 

"You need to stop this," Harry said gently. Louis' lower lip trembled, knowing how right Harry was. But it was easier said than done. Of course he knew the right course of action was to stop everything, stop seeing Zayn, stop getting into his bed. But it wasn't that easy.

 

"I love him," Louis replied feebly. He felt pathetic and he knew he looked like it too. He had come over to Harry's as soon as he was out of Zayn's house, feeling ashamed of himself and his heart heavy.

 

"Does he know that?"

 

"He doesn't even care." Louis sat up, leaning back against the couch and rested his head on Harry's shoulder. "He didn't ask me to stay." That wasn't exactly the case. Zayn did ask him to stay. But it was for another round of sex. Not even once Zayn ever invited Louis to stay the night, to cuddle after sex, to fall asleep tangled with each other.

 

Louis knew for Zayn, whatever it was between then, it was purely sex. That was why he left immediately after. He didn't want Zayn to see the hurt flickered in his eyes each and every time. He didn't want things to be awkward because then everything would change.

 

Louis was afraid of changes, afraid it would take Zayn away from him.

 

"Does he know that you love him?" asked Harry again.

 

"Why can't I fall for you, Harry? It'll be easier," Louis said, ignoring Harry's question. The younger man smiled bitterly and Louis immediately felt bad. But the feeling didn't last long. He knew it was selfish of him and Harry didn't deserve to be dragged into this affair. But Louis didn't want to be the only one hurting.

 

"We tried that, Lou," Harry spoke softly, fiddling with his fingers and looked into space. "We didn't work." Harry's tone was full of regret so Louis didn't say anything. They stayed in silence for some more minutes, Louis burrowing closer against Harry, finding comfort in his best friend. He was glad he didn't destroy everything that was left between them. But he knew if things were to go wrong with him and Zayn, everything would be destroyed. Their relationship was fragile, not as enduring. "Tell him. You and him will work just fine, I know it," Harry broke the silence, taking Louis' smaller hand and squeezed.

 

"I love you," Louis said, squeezing back Harry's hand.

 

"Tell him that," Harry said with a sad smile. He leaned to press a soft kiss on the crown of Louis' head before getting up and leaving the older man alone on the couch. Louis watched Harry's retreating back until he disappeared into his own room. The brunette lied down, curling himself into a foetal position.

 

\---

 

"We have to stop this," Zayn said as Louis crowded him against the wall, peppering kisses on his neck. He tried pushing Louis off him but they both could tell that the effort was feeble at best. "Louis," he called again, wanting to get Louis' attention.

 

"Please," Louis mumbled against Zayn's neck, pressing his body closer, stealing the other man's body heat. This time, Zayn did put more energy into pushing Louis' chest, putting distance between them, something he should've done a long time ago.

 

"I want to stop," Zayn said sternly, his eyes hard as he looked at Louis.

 

Louis did stop and took a step backward, knowing that this day would come. Louis trained his face to mask into a blank look, hiding the fact that his heart was beating erratically. Both of them stood, staring at each other, letting the silence to grow between them. It was so quite Louis swore he could hear the sound of the hands on the clock ticking.

 

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

 

Louis counted and about ten seconds later, Zayn broke the silence. "What are we doing, Lou?" he asked. He sounded tired and Louis wanted to pull him into a hug, comfort him but he wasn't sure if it was allowed to do that now.

 

"I... I don't know." If it weren't for the situation, Louis would've said something cheeky, made light of the situation but he knew this was not the time. He combed his hair back, letting out a sigh.

 

Louis recalled what Harry told him.

 

_Just tell him._

 

Louis started to open his mouth, the words just hanging on his lips, threatening to fall out. But nothing came out. He closed his mouth again and stared at Zayn. Zayn's expression was unreadable and it scared Louis. Despite what people said about Zayn being the mysterious one, Louis always prided himself as the one being able to read the man in front of him. But not this time.

 

"What now?" Zayn questioned and for the first time since they entered the room Zayn's expression opened. Louis felt like air had been punched out of his lungs when he saw the wetness in Zayn's eyes and the obvious hope shone through them. Louis however couldn't bring himself to say what he wanted.

 

"I don't know," he said weakly, dropping his gaze, not being able to look into those eyes anymore. Zayn heaved out a disappointed sigh and shook his head. He stepped away, only a few steps towards the door.

 

"I'm sorry then," Zayn replied, turning away and walked towards the door. Louis wanted to reach out, to stop Zayn from walking away but his courage failed him. The door closed behind Zayn, leaving Louis alone, a soft "I love you" finally fell from his lips.

 

-The End-


End file.
